I was trying to take a cute selfie the other day in my super festive Snoopy Christmas pjs and I kept trying to controur my body in a way that would make me look thinner because I felt like my top made me look heavy. I wasn’t even thinking about what I was doing until I finally posted the picture and I was so frustrated with myself for putting so much focus on trying to make myself look thinner than I am. I need to stop trying to mold myself so I look what I think society thinks I should look like. I should love my body and work every look like the confident millenial I am.
Sometimes I look at this picture and the first thing I see is my arm and I feel so ashamed. I don’t think of the fact that I’m in a beautiful dress or that I’m spending the evening at a gala with the love of my life. I just see my arm and I assume that that’s the first thing everyone else will see. Not my smile, or my eyes, or my dress… My fat arm. There are a lot of things I wish I could change about my body and my arm “flub” is definitely towards the top of my list. But I need to remember that i can control things like this. First, I can control how I percieve my body and secondly, I can get active and take the necessary steps to get healthy and help myself become more comfortable with the parts of my body I feel the most insecure about.
Sometimes I see pictures of myself and I can’t believe that that’s the way people see me. But then I see how happy I am in pictures like this and I wonder why I would have negative thoughts about myself. It’s normal to be self-conscious but you have to remember that you are beautiful no matter what you look like. Don’t be your biggest critic. Be your biggest supporter.
I’d be lying if I said I was totally happy with how my body looks. This is a journey that I have been on for a long time and who knows when or if it will end. I haven’t been thin since elementary school and I always assumed that being bigger meant that I wasn’t beautiful and that I wasn’t capable of being happy with the way I look but I’m slowly learning how to love myself even when I feel down. I was hesitant to post this picture because I saw so many “flaws” with my body but that’s what makes me who I am.